ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
