I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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