To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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