Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
