There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
