I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize