I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
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i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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