he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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