we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
