Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
