Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
