doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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