Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
