He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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