So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
