i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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