Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
