Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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