Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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