i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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