I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
