I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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