Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm passing your future prison.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
