btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ugly people sure do ruin things
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize