Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
