Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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