He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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