All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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