So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
