Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
