my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
