Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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