I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
