I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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