Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
