I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My vagina is officially offended.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
