the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His hands were made for my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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