you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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