obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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