when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
