your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
