Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
