i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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