I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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