For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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