ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
