real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
