Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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