I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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