It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
