my mouth tastes like poor choices
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
