we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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