So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
