They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
