who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
