Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're a waste of cheezeits
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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