I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
