ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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