I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
