I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
MIDGETS
????
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
