Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
