I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
